


Fear of death

by Nagiru



Series: CLAMP related drabbles [6]
Category: Kobato
Genre: (it's a... pre-character death?), (it's not explicit. And neither eternal nor temporary), F/M, Follows Canon, there's grieving of the living, yes there's character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 21:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13959954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nagiru/pseuds/Nagiru
Summary: Kobato knew she would die, she had known from the beginning. Somehow, she still hadn't expected this.





	Fear of death

**Author's Note:**

> It might be more manga-verse than anime-verse, but it's understandable for both verses, really. The differences between them are minimal, mostly, and the big ones I haven't mentioned here, so, I guess it's okay?

 

There was always fear around death. Many fear the nothingness, having to become the not-living. Many fear the unknown, the mystery of what comes ahead.

Me? I fear the past. That which is left behind. The people I won’t see anymore, the people I _love_ and that love me, the people who will be left sad in life.

I fear death, for I know it is coming close. I fear death, for I know that… that I won’t ever be able to see you again, because I know it _doesn’t matter_ if I tell you I love you. It doesn’t matter if losing you will hurt more than dying. It doesn’t matter if I will be crying when I see your face, because _we won’t see each other again_.

I won’t ever see your smile again. Your frowning face, full of concern. Your angry face, yelling at me. Your tearful face, for you are the _kindest_ person I have ever met. I won’t ever see any of my memories, so precious and so few of them. I won’t ever…

I won’t ever hug you again, cry on your shoulder, laugh with you, have you by my side.

I won’t ever see you again.

And I can’t regret that.

Because I know I will die, and I know you will be left behind, that I won’t ever see you again — but I _have met you_. If I haven’t met you… I wouldn’t _be_ Kobato, I don’t think, not without you. When I asked myself if you would miss me, I couldn’t decide which answer pained me the most.

And I couldn’t regret loving you, Fujimoto-san.


End file.
